Some Angst Required

Well. Prepare for an intense angst rant;
I am now in VCE (have been for awhile but it hasn't really sunk in) and fuck there is a lot of work all of a sudden. I am studying History, philosophy, literature, english and international politics. oh and i'm doing Math general by DECV.
History and philosophy are my hardest subjects. they also happen to be my favourites, masochistic? i have notes to read and write in history along with 'wider reading', a who''s who to create (actually i just finished that) and a SAC to prepare for.
in philosophy i have been taking notes in class but i need to go over the readings and do extra notes so that i'm sure i understand; i have to review the whole years work, read ahead, and do old philosophy exams (from the last 4 years).
in literature i am attempting to write a book review - not so hard except for the fact i must comment on someone elses book review. apparently no one else has reviewed this book and i'm going to have to find another book to review - which i REALLY don't want to have to do. i also have to finish reading wuthering heights.
english i have to write an essay on Girl with a Pearl Earring. no big deal just time consuming.
International Politics i have a SAC on Afghanistan next week. oh ho.
and maths i just have to try not to fall behind.
this week i've already had two SACs and i have another tomorrow (History). next week i have a SAC in philosophy as well.
sigh. i feel better now :)

I've also recently joined a political group. i'm a tad wary because i don't agree with everything they propose but i have this need to be doing SOMETHING.
I want to catch up on all the news but i am running out of time to read the paper and then find other sources of info to compare with. i hardly have any time to read either. oioioioi i hope this stops/slows down soon. tomorrow i shall be picking up a book i've been wanting for ages and on Monday the next in a series i love is coming out and i want to read them both (plus the 2 books i'm currently reading) but something tells me that shan't be happening.

i shall not even go into my boy situation. sigh. ok i will but just quickly; i didn't tell the guy i like that i like him because he told me he liked a friend of ours :( nothing came of it because she doesn't like him but that pretty much spells out that he doesn't like me in that way. i know it will happen when it happens but i want it to happen NOW!

my best-friend recently told me that i've become a bitch in the last few months and this concerns me. i don't want to be a bitch... i've just stopped being so polite and started speaking my mind. should i tone it down?

at school i'm feeling a tad alienated. leaving and then coming back has made things harder. my friendships have changed and i'm not a solid part of any group; i just seem to 'hang' with people. there are people i love hanging round with but do they like hanging round with me? and they're all so separate from each other (well not ALL but most). i miss a lot of the friendships i used to have and regret some of the new ones.

i'm also feeling very socially alienated. i don't get to go out much because my family has a 'two outings a term' rule. grrrrrrrrrrrr
i don't watch tv anymore and don't really miss it that much but occasionally i just want to veg out infront of the telly and go blank. no time for that though.

enough. be happy...